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A beginner’s guide to couples therapy

Table of Contents

Ain’t no kingdom like coupledom but much like anything in the world, a romantic relationship also comes at a price. Unlike what the fairy tales have you believing, finding the person is not the sole issue, it is sustaining a healthy relationship that is the real challenge.

Having a healthy relationship requires a lot of effort, patience, and commitment. However, some challenges cannot be easily surmounted, and the problems then start to erode at the foundation of the relationship. And if you are vested in saving your relationship, a couple therapist can help you fill in these cracks.

What is couples therapy?

Couples therapy is counseling that is solely aimed at addressing relationship issues. A therapist helps in resolving conflicts and issues that are causing or may cause harm to the relationship.

Moreover, couples therapy can also help you have better terms of the relationship. They are not only consulted when things are going downhill, but a couples counselor can also be of help when you are starting a new relationship, achieving some milestone in your relationships like marriage or a baby, etc.

How to know if you need couples therapy?

Some signs that you might need the help of a counselor include:

  • Communication issues: Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, but especially that of a romantic partnership. Issues therein need to be addressed.
  • Cheating: If the partner who gets cheated on wants to still work on the relationship, a couples counselor can be of help.
  • Distance: Feeling distant from your partner, being annoyed by them, and feeling as if they are holding you back are all signs that your relationship needs rescuing.
  • Fights: If you fight too much or not at all, both are cries for help.
  • Intimacy issues: If you are having trouble with the intimate aspects of your life, you need help.
  • Mental health issues: Having mental health issues like depression, stress, etc., because of the relationship or otherwise can damage it, needing then the intervention of a marriage counselor.
  • Repeat conflicts: Having conflicts over the same issue means neither of you is listening to the other, and thus, you need help from an objective third party.
  • Trust issues: Being unable to trust your partner is a big sign that your relationship needs help.

How do you prepare for couples therapy?

Much like a visit to any expert, being prepared helps. Some things to do before the first session include:

Have the practical out of the way: Sort out the practical aspects like insurance, commute, timing, etc. before so you are not worried just before or during the session.

Know what you want out of the therapy: While the expert will also identify the shortcomings in the relationships, you also need to know your goals for therapy.

Be prepared: You will be laying bare your life before the therapist, so it will undoubtedly become uncomfortable at one point or the other. You might have to talk about intimate, embarrassing and personal details of your life.

However, think of couples counselling as a necessary treatment, much like a pap smear or a colonoscopy, the discomfort from the procedure is much better than what the lack of treatment can bring. Speaking of which, you can find certified Couples therapist at

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